Recently, I have let someone back into my life. It could either be a good or a bad thing. I guess only time will tell if it will be a good decision or not. We have a lot of history. We were together for 2 and a half years, off and on of course.. I learned how to love someone more than I loved myself. He is the father of my unborn child that passed away. That was a make it or break it type of thing. We both learned and changed so much after we lost our daughter. We changed the way we saw each other and felt about each other. I can’t tell you how he felt. But I can tell you how I felt and how my outlook on life changed. I saw how one thing can change your whole life. In a matter of seconds, your whole life is thrown off course. I didn’t just have to think about myself, I had to think about myself, my baby, my boyfriend, and my family. Everyone would have to make sacrifices and changes for me. In that one second, my life changed and I was so lost. The man I have most recently welcomed back into my life was not accepting, not supporting and not the greatest partner. I understood him, but I didn’t understand why he had to treat me like he did. We tried so hard to make our relationship work after we lost our daughter, we were struggling for a few months, I wanted to keep trying but he gave up on me. I moved on and found someone else but we found our way back to each other, just like we always have and I feel like always will. Our love for each other is so great, it is maddening sometimes. I love him with all of my heart.
I haven’t decided if this is a good thing or not. So.. I am just going to go with the flow but guard my heart so it can’t be broken again.